maybe you don’t like me because i’m not a pretty girl but i didnt think that would matter to you 

I waited all day for a call from you, asking me to come over and you never called.

Today was perfectly fine but by the time I got home, I was so overwhelmed thinking about everything that isn’t fine right now. Thinking has ruined my whole day and I wish I could just rewind or fast forward and not feel like this right now. If I’m with the one boy that wants me, I will shit on his heart. If I hook up with the boy that wants to hook up with me, I’ll have feelings for him and then he’ll shit on my heart. And the only boy I really want to be with, so so badly, wants nothing to do with me and won’t even be back in the same state for months. And any decision I make will result in people realizing I’m not what they thought I was. I hate this. And I hate that my friends aren’t a unit anymore. And I hate that they don’t care. At the end of the day, we’re supposed to come home to each other. Maybe not literally, but at the end of it all, we’re supposed to take care of each other and it breaks my heart that everything is ending just like I knew it would. Everyone is moving on and I’m standing still and I feel so helpless and alone.

tonight is not good at all and i thought i was done feeling like this. i know that everyone is depressed sometimes but this feeling is familiar in all the wrong ways. im thinking about things that i know i shouldn’t be thinking about. all the things i thought were important just became very insignificant. and the things that really are important continue to just be total shit.